R+D & Promotions are going on leave (but it's still business as usual)

Sandra Trott
2 days ago
4 min read

My doors are staying open to current and new clients, however this is the last piece of social media I plan to do for an extended period of time and I would like to tell you why.

"suffering is just fighting acceptance" Antonia Kersting

I have been in a state of suffering for a little while; feeling intensely pressured to grow my private practice business presence yet not having the time to do it.

This suffering reached a pinnacle the other day resulting in a decision to quit social media for the next 6 months or more. Prior to this I had also decided to not continue hosting and facilitating my own private equestrian clinics next year (or ever again).

I realised I didn't need any more growth right now - I have enough and have had enough.

I woke up the next morning relaxed, refreshed and LIGHT. It was a visceral experience.

I'm am writing this a few days post the 'I'm quitting socials/growth' decision. I still feel amazing and in hindsight there is nothing surprising about this.

I want to be clear however - I'm still operating my private practice, I'm still seeing clients, I'm still 'working'. I'm just not pushing that barrow of developing new offerings or advertising, so please don't see my lack of social media presence as disinterest or closure - it's not, in fact it's the opposite.

I am living in abundance right now

I am doing 'enough' to have 'enough' and frankly I don't need more. Plus I don't have TIME for more so it's a good thing what I am doing is 'enough' - lols.

So why am I telling you this?

Two reasons:

I'm scared my lack of activity online will indicate closure, so I want to clarify that is not the case.
In case my story of getting caught in the false belief of scarcity thinking when you are actually, in fact, in abundance, is helpful to someone.

My dance with scarcity thinking

Abundance says that opportunities and resources are plentiful. There is a faith the life is basically good and overall friendly.

Scarcity thinking is the opposite: there are not enough opportunities or resources to go around. Its a 'dog eat dog' world and you've got to get what you can while you can.

This is not deny that sometimes we do live in scarcity, scarcity thinking however is a faulty thinking style that defaults you to see scarcity even when you are in abundance.

During this recent reflective process I have concluded scarcity thinking and I have danced together most of my life. Chances are it's a belief I have inherited and its not all bad, like most things.

It has however driven me to always be pursuing 'the next opportunity' and I would suggest has left perfectly good opportunities that I already had in my quiver undernourished, leaving me in a state of perpetual thirst that was driving me to work harder when in fact there would be enough water if I would only slow down.

The upside is; it has left a template of high motivation and risk taking which, when dispensed in a healthy fashion are great traits to have. When not it can leave you strung out and under resourced.

That strung out and under resourced lifestyle leads to burnout, and I have worn that shirt before.

Like many things in life there is a pattern of behaviour here that I need to acknowledge not unlike addiction or eating disorder recovery.

You never 'recover', you are who you are, you just get better at managing yourself

This last 3 months I was having an 'episode' and it was hidden from me as I have over the years gotten better at managing myself. Physically I wasn't burnt out but mentally and emotionally I was perpetually frustrated and heading towards it.

Thankfully I have developed the resources that allowed me to notice, get curious and respond to myself from a place of compassion.

Where to from here?

Well, I write this with an amount of trepidation. I have moments of 'I can't believe I am doing this' and 'what if this doesn't work!?'

However a much bigger part of me is relived and excited.

I am excited to lean into comfort and sit firmly in the middle of my window of tolerance. I have been there before, most recently about this time last year and it was blissful. Life was joy and I look forward to floating in that bubble again.
By sitting in that bubble with intention and awareness I am excited to sensitise myself to that feeling. To learn to embrace it and enjoy it fully (I can start to experience guilt in this place - yay for me!), to learn to live in the world from that place, and to become so accustomed to it that it becomes my 'normal' and therefore I become more sensitive to the moments I slip out of it.
I am excited to see what opportunities arise in the space I am intentionally holding and curating.

Scarcity thinking would have me believe that I will miss opportunity, but I don't think that's true, I honestly think something really exciting will come from this place and I can't wait to see what it is going to be.

Plus I am reminded that THIS (this blog post) is the type of work I want to put out into the world. I like thoughtful long form content. I LOVE to write and I want to do more of it.

So I am going to be patient. I am going to be patient and wait with the belief that my time and the time will come.

Because I am living in abundance, I am enough and that right now is enough.

PS After I post this I am going to go and watch TV or read a book and forget about 'working' guilt free - how good it that!